This is not true, but neither is it
fiction. Call it a fictionalised account. The emotions are true, but
I've rewritten the event and conversation to make them coherent.
Because real conversations are so often not coherent.
The scene: two
people, with a joint history spanning nearly forty years, are
sitting, talking and weeping over how life drove us apart and crafted
new lives for us both, and how the new lives held hard secrets for
us.
Yet those lives
turned out to be filled with all of the stuff of life: love and homes
and mortgages, jobs and worries and children, in sickness and in
health and still more love. They were both lucky.
Life repairs many
rifts if it's given the chance. Continents can move, if you wait. And
two people wanted to see where their continents now lay, and sat at a
picnic table in the bush, and talked.
Well: honestly, one
talked, the other listened, because the divergence of their lives
wasn't merely that they grew apart. They also had different fortunes.
One prospers in another country and she is nostalgic for home. The
other, doing most of the talking, is suffering in the home that he
loves to distraction.
Because she's not
“suffering”, she's listening. Because he is, he's talking.
They've reached back beyond a disaster of passion, to the friendship
that preceded and post-dated a brief marriage, and if they're not
comfortable (because tears aren't comfortable), they both know why
they're here.
And the wind blew.
Surrounded by old-man-banksia,
tea-tree, bluegum, angophora, mountain devil, grevillea, and bent
ghost gums, the wind blew above them.
“Stop talking for
a minute,” she said, and since he was pouring his heart out, he was
momentarily hurt.
Then he saw her
face.
He knew her face
well: in high school, he'd seen it gaze at him, talked to that face,
befriended it, fallen in love with it. Married it and divorced it.
During a separation of decades, he'd only been able to imagine the
face when they talked on the telephone; in twenty-five years, they'd
been face-to-face just twice before today. He knew at least enough to
recognise an expression and wait for her to speak.
And, surrounded
by old-man-banksia, tea-tree, bluegum, angophora, mountain devil,
grevillea, and bent ghost gums, the wind blew above them.
Nobody, having
loved a face and its expressions, sees anything of age. Are there
wrinkles and blemishes? Of course: who cares? Merely an expression on
the face, a shout across the years rather than an echo, erases
decades and wrinkles.
She has stopped
talking and stopped listening to him, because surrounded by
old-man-banksia, tea-tree, bluegum, angophora, mountain devil,
grevillea, and bent ghost gums, the wind blew above them. She has
relaxed her shoulders, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes with
a sad smile that reminds him how they fell in love.
And the wind eases,
and without moving or opening her eyes, she speaks.
“I haven't heard
that sound in thirty years. The wind in the Australian bush. It's
different: you can sit in an English forest in a storm, but it
doesn't sound the same.”
“Thirty years. We
were married, then.”
“I know. Why do
you think I'm crying?”
“Me too.”
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